Vulnerability

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 If you have your Bibles, we’re going to be in Proverbs momentarily, but before that, I’d love for you, if you’re willing and able, to go to 2 Timothy. 2 Timothy, we’re going to spend most of our time today. Uh, together. Uh, Paul is actually writing here a letter to his protege, Timothy, and he is soon going to be executed for his faith.

Many believe he wrote this and then was beheaded right after. Paul here is at the apex of maturity. And I, you really notice that if you read Second Timothy, I believe it’s his last letter that he wrote. His ministry, his writing ministry of the Bible spanned about 20 years. And you can see he has really reached this like gentle grandfatherly disposition.

He is mature. His maturity is on full display and you notice that by what he values, what he writes most. About in life. I believe there’s we love to talk about stages and steps of maturity overall with relationships I think there’s three stages of maturity. The first stage is when we’re children life is all about things Right like Christmas Day is the best day because of the things You’re going to get, uh, this, this Christmas.

I know we’re not allowed to talk about Christmas anymore. You’re not even allowed to say happy new year, by the way, anymore. I learned that yesterday at the store. So we just got to move on with life. And I guess talk about Valentine’s day, but give me just a moment to talk about Christmas at Christmas.

So it was over at my in laws house and, uh, they got all the grandkids together and we’re so grateful because. Uh, in the years past, her mom bought like a million toys for all of our kids, and we had no place to put them. And so we said, please do something different. And so this year she did something different.

It was very generous. She got all the kids together, and there was this big box. Everybody had a box, and they said, okay, open it on three. And if you know our household, there’s like 18 girls and one boy. And so all the girls are excited. The boy doesn’t know what’s going on yet because he’s too young. And they say in three, open it.

And they open it up and it’s a shirt that has a picture of Disneyland on it. Everybody has a custom princess and it has their name on it, I believe. And everyone’s excited. They’re like, we’re going to Disney. You know, they put two and two together. A lot of them are old enough to do that. They’re all excited.

We get to go to Disneyland and then there’s one of the girls. I won’t say her name She’s a member of Passion Creek Church One of the girls was bawling in the corner looked at the shirt. She’s just so mad She just if she had a lighter she would have done it, you know Like just upset at the world and we’re like you love Disneyland.

What’s wrong with you? And she’s just pointing at the shirt. She I got a shirt for Christmas You got me a shirt And like, no, no, no, you get to go to Disneyland. This represents something bigger. And she just would not stop crying as she finally told her dad, I wanted toys for Christmas. Not this shirt. So she, the rest of her night, just upset.

Right? Why? Life at that age. And that’s okay. Life’s about things. Give me something now. I want things. And the reality is, some of us grow outta that stage of maturity and go to learn that life isn’t about things as much as it is about experiences, any other newlyweds, right? You just said, you know what?

Here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re not gonna buy each other things. We’re gonna go on vacations. Anybody said that to each other before? Amen. Praise God. The rest of you are boring now. Now here’s what you do. You just do something great together and it’s a lot of fun. For example, I’m going to talk about Christmas one more time.

We got to hold on to it as much as we can. All December, my kids were counting down the days to Christmas. Why? Because life’s all about things. And that’s the day they get all of those things. For me, it was a countdown to depression. Anybody else? Right? Like Disney, Christmas is the best season and I knew Christmas Day marked it’s over, pack everything up, it’s time to move on.

Why? I have learned the experience of Christmas is way better than the actual items of Christmas. In this stage, we actually fantasize about picking up all of our things, buying an RV, and traveling the world. We think We need to find ourselves by moving, by constantly being on the move, and for a lot of us, we never outgrow that stage of maturity.

But the final stage of maturity, ultimately, and only some learn this, they learn is that life is all about the people you do it with. It’s about being rooted, having family and friends, and you don’t care where you’re at as long as your people. You learn life isn’t measured by accomplishments or acquisitions.

It’s not measured by how much you own. It’s measured by how many people you can take with you in this journey called life. Not just any people, people who fully know you and fully love you. And 2 Timothy here is about many things. 2 Timothy is about guarding the gospel and good doctrine. We’re going to talk about that briefly.

It’s about persevering in the midst of suffering for the gospel. It’s about finishing the race strong with godliness and dignity. And, write this down. 2 Timothy is about a friend writing to another friend, telling him of his experiences with really good and bad friends, but ultimately pointing to our greatest friend, Jesus Christ.

Did you get all that? That was a lot to take in. It’s about a friend writing to another friend about a bunch of really good and bad friends, but ultimately pointing to the best friend. And I believe there’s a lot about friendship here in 2 Timothy, uh, that I think could really serve us as we, in this vision series, really get serious together about making friends and loving other people.

Let’s pray for our time. Father God, we just ask you, uh, to use this passage. The same way you’ve used these passages the last 2000 years and that’s drawing people to yourself. That’s glorifying your name and that’s building your church. So God, we love you. I pray for the lonely in the room today. I pray God that we take another step forward.

And being known. God, I pray for the friendly here today. I pray that they would recognize the leadership position they have and making even more friends. Help us see, God, we can never make enough of them. And God, ultimately help us see you are, Jesus, our greatest friend who is there for us when nobody else is.

In Jesus name I pray. Everybody says, Amen. Amen. So this is Paul’s final letter. He’s tied to actually a roaming guard, and he’s in a pit for 24 hours a day. And he’s waiting his upcoming execution. And Paul is writing, this is, First Timothy is my favorite, because it’s really to pastors, but it’s also just to Christian leaders.

And he’s sharing his own experiences in order to shape Timothy’s expectations. Timothy, is a younger pastor, he’s in his 30s, who’s been called and anointed to carry the gospel of Jesus Christ to the next generation. And here’s what I love about Tim. He constantly battles fear, constantly anxious, so much to the point where he has stomach problems.

And if you know me, I just described myself, but it’s also Timothy. And Paul wants to remind Timothy, hey, God called you to be a leader and leadership is about courage. And you have to have courage to do what the Spirit of God has called you to do, but here’s the good news. The Spirit of God gives you the courage that you need.

Look at verse 6 with me. It says, Therefore, I remind you to rekindle the gift of God, not get a new one. The gift is already there. Rekindle it that is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love. Self discipline and sound judgment. Other, other references, uh, translations say self discipline.

I think that’s a helpful word. Verse 8, So don’t be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or of me, his prisoner. Instead, share in suffering for the gospel. Relying on the power of God. Not his own power. When he does that, he gets stomach aches. But on God alone. He has saved us and called us with a holy calling.

Not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time began. One more verse. Though, uh, sorry, this has now been made evident through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has abolished death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel.

Now, there’s a lot here, and because of Time I encourage you to really meditate on this further But essentially what he’s telling Timothy here is the work of the ministry isn’t hard. It’s not rocket science, but it is heavy It’s difficult. You’re going to rub up against people and making friends and loving other people and pastoring people.

You need power. You need love. You need sound judgment in order to properly rebuke somebody when they are not following the way to encourage people to keep going to celebrate all the little steps, all the ups and downs. What it looks like to lead people, you need courage and the Spirit of God gives you that.

But there’s something else you need in order to do ministry. Paul tells Timothy to use that courage to guard the gospel of Jesus Christ. Jump with me to verse 13 in chapter 1. Hold on to the pattern of sound teaching that you have heard from me in the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. Again, I want us to see Christ is the one who gives us all of these gifts.

We just have to apply it. Verse 14. Guard. The Good Deposit through the Holy Spirit. Who lives in us. Pastors, Christian leaders, they must guard at least against these three things. Number one is heresy. Heresy is something that’s anti gospel, that doesn’t make much of Jesus. Number two is moral failure, right?

He needs to make sure he doesn’t, uh, disqualify himself from ministry. Pastors need to make sure of that. And then the third thing every pastor needs to really guard from is burnout. You need to have healthy rhythms of rest and love and engagement with just the slowness of God rather than the hurry of ministry.

And essentially what Paul is saying, pastors, Christian leaders, Christian, keep the main thing the main thing. And this is very tempting in every era and it’s certainly tempting in our American context. Look with me on the screen. Eugene Peterson has a quote, um, from his book, Working the Angles that I think is just incredible.

He says the pastors of America have metamorphosed into a company of shopkeepers and the shops they keep are churches. They are preoccupied with shopkeepers concerns. How to keep the customers happy, how to lure customers away from competitors down the street, how to package the goods so that the customers will lay out more money.

And some of you, you feel that and maybe you haven’t been a church in a long time because you’re disgusted by that, but I love his encouragement here. He said, look, being the kind of pastor That satisfies a congregation is one of the easiest jobs on the face of the earth if We are satisfied with satisfying congregations Paul is warning Timothy you can play that game where you make sure everybody’s happy None of them are gonna get holy that way It’s the work of the ministry is heavy.

It’s difficult. You need courage You need to guard the gospel because nobody’s gonna guard it for you But then, so that’s a typical sermon. I’ve actually preached this before in ordination services. That’s good and great. You need courage. You need gospel fidelity. But, what we want to talk about today, you also need friends.

Look at verse 15. You know that all those in the province of Asia have deserted me, including Phygelus and Hermogenes. May the Lord grant mercy to the household of Anisophorus, because he often refreshed me. It was not a shame to my chains. On the contrary, when he was in Rome, he diligently searched for me and found me.

May the Lord grant that he obtained mercy from him on that day. You know very well how much he ministered at Ephesus. Onesiphorus, that word actually means profit bearer, not as in like profit, like speaking the truth, but like money profit or anything of that nature. Profit bearer. And he’s living out his identity here.

He is giving profit to Paul by encouraging him at great lengths and, and refreshing him. You remember last week we talked about the six different friends. I think Onesiphorus is the foxhole friend. So you guys, we all need different types of friends for different types of situations. Don’t put that burden on one person to do all the things.

We have to see here though, is Anisiphorus found. Paul was in the roughest time, and he’s like, I’m that kind of friend. I’m a foxhole friend. When things are hitting the fan, I’m going to come. I’m going to refresh you. I’m going to encourage you. I’m going to be there when you need me the most. But here’s the reality that I wanted to talk about today.

For every Anisiphorus, you get a Phygellus and a Hermogenes. Yes? I researched how to say that name and I practiced it all week. Just trust me. Now, we don’t know much about these two guys except they betrayed Paul, which means to be betrayed means they once were close and then left, deserted is the word that Paul uses here.

Essentially, once the pressure against the gospel began to heat up, they got out. And here’s the reality. In life, you will have loyal friends who refresh you and you will have disloyal friends who hurt you. And If you don’t want disloyal friends, what happens is you avoid friends altogether, and you just become a lonely person.

So the options are amazing. Like, have friends, some of them will hurt you. Have no friends, life really isn’t that great. And I love this about Paul, he’s honest. You need friends, you can’t do life without them. But, some of them will hurt you, and some of them will betray you. Welcome to church, everybody.

You’ll probably get hurt here, but we want you to make friends, and we want you to love other people in 2024. Are you ready? Okay? Everybody says amen or oh me, as my father, my grandfather would say back in the day. Oh me! Yeah. So, this month, our vision. Today is looking at the progression of friendship and we’re going to see how we’re going to practice that throughout the year.

But last week we established the first step and that was really simple, just get in proximity. Today is a harder lesson from Paul. You need to be around people but now the next step and stage of genuine friendship is to get vulnerable. Here’s what you can see from the life of Paul. Can’t help but notice this, write this down.

You can’t have friendships that are valuable if you are not willing to be vulnerable. I’ve tried to do it other ways. It’s just not the case. In this letter, Paul is being vulnerable, for instance, with Timothy. You have in verse 4, he says, Recalling your hearts, I long to see you, that I may be filled with joy.

Sorry, recalling your tears. Guys, men don’t talk to each other like that today, right? There was a deep abiding friendship that was vulnerable. Uh, it’s not gonna be on the screen, but if you flip over to chapter 3, verse 10, he says, you know everything. My teaching, my lifestyle, my purpose, faith, patience, love, endurance, persecution, sufferings.

And he’s like, what happened to me in this town, in that town? Can you honestly, do you have a friend in your life where you can say, yeah, that person knows everything? For Paul, this was Timothy. Paul didn’t have to do this. Paul was 20 years in to being the man. A preacher of the word, a mission, a missionary that was spreading the gospel to all the Gentiles, and yet he still had the humility to be vulnerable with people close to him because he knew what?

He knew he wanted relationships that are valuable, and for that to only happen, he had to be willing to get vulnerable. But I want you to notice something as well. Paul doesn’t say everything to everyone. Paul isn’t vulnerable even to you and to me, to some extent. If you know, uh, 2 Corinthians chapter 12, Paul is lamenting.

He’s talking about his thorn in the flesh. And nobody actually knows what the thorn in the flesh was. He used this metaphor intentionally. I think it’s because he knew, I’m not going to be so vulnerable, and you’re going to know my thorn in the flesh. All you need to know is that it’s a thorn in the flesh.

I could almost put money on it. But I’m a Baptist, so I don’t gamble, okay? Whatever. But I could almost put money on it. Timothy knew what Paul’s thorn in the flesh was. He didn’t write it down, but he told Timothy what’s going on in his life, and how the Lord wouldn’t release him from it. So this is a key, as we’re talking about being vulnerable, we have to know this principle.

We are to be transparent with everybody, but we are to be vulnerable with few. There is a difference between being transparent and being vulnerable. Transparent, I believe, is to have no hidden motives. It’s to not manipulate. Right? I believe as a preacher, I have to always be transparent with you as the church.

But I’m not always vulnerable. There’s vulnerable things about my life, about mess I’m going through or distractions or heartaches that honestly, if I spew that on you, it’s not helping anybody. You don’t have enough context to know what’s going on in my life, me, you’re, that you’re not a very good counselor, right?

Just sitting there listening to all my problems. I have to have those other people in my life. Jesus says, don’t cast your pearls before swine, which means like, hey, some people, they just don’t know what to do with the information you gave them. So be very wise. You don’t have to share everything with everybody.

Right? This has been hard for me. I like to be vulnerable because I want to be an honest pastor. But I have learned through hard trials, sometimes I am over vulnerable and all it does is hurt people rather than help people. So there’s a lot to unpack here. I want you to give me the grace to help me unpack some of this.

Like what if you are ready for relationships that are valuable, which means you are willing to be vulnerable. What do you share? What do you do? We’re going to start answering those questions. First, being vulnerable is different than being self deprecating. I had to learn this lesson a lot the last seven years as a pastor.

Self deprecation is just a way to get attention. You know, it’s all me. I’m the worst this bad thing happened to me. You’re always kind of like the victim, right? You’re just a failure and what you’re doing is you want people to pat you on the back and to be like this is parenting 101 guys, right? Like don’t fall for it, right?

They’re fine, you know And this needs to be in relationships as well, but vulnerability is a way to actually get help. It’s to say, look, I’m not here to get a pat on the back. I need actual help and I’m actually open right now to rebuke or to whatever kind of direction you can give me. Self deprecation doesn’t look for a solution.

Vulnerability does. Even Pixar knows the difference between the two. This quote’s from Matthew Loon, great book called The Best Story Wins. He says the following about vulnerability versus self deprecation. He says being vulnerable is very different from being self deprecating. I have witnessed many speakers share their shortcomings, bad memories, small stature, or other personal failings.

This is not being vulnerable, it’s just putting yourself down. An audience wants to be on your side. But they won’t root for you if you play the martyr and belittle yourself. Instead, share how you try something new, failed, and learned. See the difference there? I can admit where I went wrong, but I’m still resolved to be Right?

And this is especially a principle if you’re talking to a lot of people. I think there’s a little bit more permission to be a little self deprecating to somebody who really does know you and has done life with you, but don’t just spew all your mess to everybody. Okay? Now, assuming you truly want to be vulnerable and not self deprecating, I believe there’s three layers of vulnerability that I think we see mirrored in Paul’s life and all throughout the biblical text.

The first layer of vulnerability is to share your weaknesses. We know Paul actually has a lot of weaknesses in 2 Corinthians 11 through 12. He gets a lot of examples. One of them is that he struggles sleeping at night because of all of his anxiety for the churches. That’s pretty weak, right? Be a man, Paul!

Why are you stressing about the church? He’s sharing his weakness. We learn in Galatians that Paul actually has an ailment, an illness, that is actually restricting some of his ministry. That’s hard to do. I saw, when I was traveling one day, I saw a billboard that says, like, it was a terrifying stat. It’s like 50 percent of men die because they never share with anybody their problems.

Have you guys seen that? I mean, it just terrified me. And I didn’t, I didn’t share my problem with anybody, but I freaked out, you know. And, and for example, for me in junior high, I went here, uh, by the way, and I remember I finally had to admit I couldn’t see. I mean, for years, I was just, I want to sit in the front row.

You know, it’s not that I wanted to be in the front. I wanted to see the whiteboard, okay? But for me, it was weak. To admit I needed glasses and be called four eyes and all those things. I just was not wanting to live that life. You guys remember junior high, come on, right? You just want to mitigate any kind of people making fun of you as possible.

But we need to share our weaknesses. I think that can be a lot of things. Me and Pastor Caleb were talking about it this week. It can be actual physical limitations. I think a lot of us, we view that as weakness or it’s illnesses, or I think a big one is your fears. Right? And I’m so grateful even for Brett sharing that he’s kind of like, uh, and have an anxious disposition and he shared his weakness there.

And then he’s talked about how that kind of helped him come to the Lord. I think that’s incredible. God really uses that. See, the world says to conquer your weaknesses, but the scriptures time and time again, just say to confess your weaknesses. Why? Because Jesus is the hero of every story, not us. He can be strong in your place.

In fact, Paul says, in my weakness, then I’m strong, because his grace is sufficient for me when I admit openly how weak I am. So if you really want to make some friends and, and take that next level of friendship, I think step number one for you is to share some of your weaknesses with somebody. Step number two, the second layer of vulnerability is to share your wickedness.

Wickedness is essentially just sin done by us, either in the present or in the past. Second Timothy 2, 19, for example, says, let everyone who calls on the name of the Lord churn away from wickedness. And what’s interesting in the biblical text, a lot of ways that we churn away from wickedness is of course, first and foremost, admitting that to God, but a huge part of the process is admitting it to others.

Robert Mulholland, and one of my favorite books, if you’re a book nerd out there, Unite. Uh, he has this book called Invitation to a Journey. And in that book he talks about the four levels of sin. And I think this is a really helpful paradigm for you and me, in figuring out how do I begin to share my wickedness.

with God, admitting it, but also with a close friend. Number one is, he calls it gross sins. Gross sins is just the wickedness, even our culture, which is getting harder and harder. But our culture says it’s wicked as well. Things like certain like sexual immorality, or just having deep hatred in your heart, or constantly jealous about something, fits of rage, selfish ambition, uh, you’re addicted to alcohol.

These are where even non Christians say you should probably fix that in your life. That’s step one. Right? Just admit them out loud when you come to the Lord. Hey, these are some of my just gross sins. They’re just very apparent. Even the world thinks they’re wrong. And you can find freedom by just admitting those things and stepping into healing.

The second layer is conscious sins. These are sins that are socially acceptable. I think, uh, this one gets me in trouble every time, but I think certain TV shows and movies that we watch, I think the world says these are all fine. It’s whatever. But I think if we’re honest, It is a sin to us as a believer.

It, it takes our minds in different direction. It degrades certain people. And that’s just one example where the world will say that’s fine. But you know, after reading the scriptures and being a community, you know, my non believing friends thinks it’s fine, but I know this is wrong and I need to repent of that.

The third layer is unconscious sins. Unconscious sins are more internal than external. They are essentially sins of omission. You don’t even realize, like, this is always overwhelming. You think, like, you, you know, you first come to Jesus and you start to read your Bible and come to church. And then you learn about this thing, the sin of omission, which is sin of commission is doing the wrong thing.

Sin of omission is not doing all the right things. So, like, even just to exist and do nothing wrong. Doesn’t always mean that you did everything right. And so you begin to express your way. You know what? I didn’t, I didn’t help that person cross the street, right? I didn’t, I didn’t do these things that God called me to do.

And then the last layer, uh, is trust structures. Which he said, quote, These are the deep inner postures of our being that do not rely on God, but on ourself for our own well being. So trust structures, nobody will spot them out. You have to admit them out loud. Trust structures, like for me as a pastor, this is me being vulnerable, but it’s okay, is sometimes when I want to preach, I want to preach a good sermon.

Not because I, well I do, but you know, the deep motivation sometimes is not because I love the Lord, which again I promise you I do. But sometimes, in a bad spot, it’s to impress you. To get kind of a response from you. And that’s, okay, that’s terrible. I need to trust the word of God, not my performance.

Right? And so those are some of the layers because, and here’s what’s so true when we begin to share our wickedness, naming your sin to God brings forgiveness, but naming your sin to others brings healing. Looking at that in James chapter five, he says, when you confess your sins to one another, you may be healed.

Some of us are living a life. We know we’re forgiven by God. But we’re, like, sometimes even a physical ailment, a emotional wound is still there because we haven’t opened up and shared with someone else who can be a brother or sister in Christ. Let me say that briefly. We believe if you are a male, you should be confessing to other males about sins.

If you are a female, this should be friendship with other females. If you’re married, you should be sharing those with each other, okay? Just good practice there. Don’t cross that line, because emotional vulnerability leads to physical vulnerability and all sorts of other sins. Now, you guys still with me?

It’s just one of those days, okay? The third layer of vulnerability is to share your wounds. Oh, I’m sorry. I need to mention a couple more things. Let’s go back to that last point. I’m just here preaching. Let me give you a couple examples of what that means when you begin to name your sin to others.

There’s a difference, and I grew up in church, so I’ve learned. You know, so let me, let me give you an example. I’m struggling in my marriage. That’s pretty cool. That’s good to say. It’s not cool. But, you know, it’s good to say. My wife’s like, what are you talking about? It’s good to share that. And I think sometimes it’s okay for me to say that on the stage.

Very, that’s very vague. I think a, to, to confess this with a brother or sister. You go further and say, okay, I know I’m just struggling with this, but I need to tell you our fighting and yelling woke up the kids last night and I got so mad I threw a plate at the wall. You see how that’s different than, yeah, we’re struggling?

Name your sins. And that’s actually how you get freedom. There’s also a difference saying like, I’m just really stressed out right now. Right? Yeah, that’s great. And for most people, maybe that’s all they need to hear. But to your close confidant, to your friend, You need to tell them, I’m watching pornography right now to ease my pain.

See the difference? So, the world, by the way, says to blame your wickedness. The scripture says to name your wickedness. And really name it. Don’t just say I’m a sinner, but recognize what those sins are. There’s still so much more I gotta go through. The third layer of vulnerability is to share your wounds.

So, wickedness is sin done by us. Wounds are sins done to us and sins done around us. So some, I think this is the hardest layer. Me and Pastor Caleb are going back. We could get it. Maybe yours is to share your wickedness versus your wounds. I, you know, this isn’t perfect science here, but I think this one’s hard for most.

Um, many don’t share their wounds because they haven’t even shared it with them themselves. They kind of like blocked out their memory. There’s been a lot of stuff that’s happened to them, like abuse, being neglected, violated in your childhood, inconsistent affection and attention, all sorts of things. But we have to do that hard work of looking at our wounds from the past and seeing how they are being carried through today.

Pete Scazzaro, he’s famous for saying, Jesus may be in your heart, but grandpa is still in your bones. There’s still a lot of family life stuff that is in you. And you need to get that out. Because if you don’t transform those wounds into healing, you will transmit those wounds to the next generation and everybody else around you.

Okay, so the world says to conceal your wounds, but God calls us to reveal our wounds. Look at 1 John 1, 7 and 9, right? Confess your sins. He’s faithful and just to forgive us of all unrighteousness. He’s saying come into the light, and that’s where you will find healing. But here’s the, here’s the really hard truth.

I’m picturing, what if we have a church, as a church, begin to share our weaknesses, our wickedness, and our wounds? I have to tell you what’s going to happen. This will really pay off about two thirds of the time. Paul here, it worked for him 66 percent of the time. If we’re looking at just 2nd Timothy, here’s what you can discover.

He was deserted and betrayed by Phygelus, Hermogenes, Hermonius, Philetus, Alexander, and Deimos. That made his life a thousand percent worse because he was vulnerable with these six people and they hurt him But I have good news It also Made Paul really deep friendships with Timothy, Onesiphorus This is all just 2nd Timothy, Luke, Mark, Priscilla, Aquila, Orestes, Trophimus, Ebullus Pudence, Linus, and Claudia That’s 12 friends.

So it’ll work. Two out of one time. How does that math work? I don’t know. It’s two to one, right? I went to college for Bible, okay? I only stuttered the book of numbers. I don’t know what numbers are. Right now. 12 great friends and 6 betrayals. Do you want to sign up for it? I don’t want to be a, I don’t want to be a false salesman.

This is reality. And honestly, I can’t be that vulnerable with you, but I got names in my mind. Who have hurt me that I have been vulnerable with, and it didn’t turn out great. Look now at Proverbs 26. We have to be wise and recognize there will be friends who then betray you, and now you have to actually make some distance.

Proverbs 26, 24 says, A hateful person disguises himself with speech and harbors deceit within. Here’s what’s so hard about when people betray you. You have no idea. They look so nice. They’re so kind. When he speaks graciously, don’t believe him, for there are seven detestable things in his heart. Meaning there’s, seven is the number of perfection, it’s foolness.

So he’s like, he may say these things, but he’s got a bunch of wickedness stored up and wants to hurt you. Verse 26. Though his hatred is concealed by deception, his evil will be revealed in the assembly. I think that’s a word here. Here’s what happens when you do friendship in community of the church, and you’re gathered around the truth.

Eventually, that betraying, hurtful, disloyal friend exposes themselves. Because when you’re around the truth, the assembly of God’s people long enough, they can’t fake it, and eventually they reveal their true nature. Colors now we pray for that person. We ask that they get healed that they get delivered possibly get saved for the first time But we I want to be honest with you I want this year for us to get vulnerable because that’s the only way we That’s the only way we have relationships that are valuable, but it’s gonna hurt It’s gonna hurt Paul knew this Paul news that no knows that you need a Timothy in your life But there’s gonna be a fight jealous that comes along the way as well.

Even Jesus knew this In an effort to avoid Judas the betrayer, you miss out on John the Beloved. Jesus didn’t avoid Judas. How did Judas betray Jesus? With a kiss. Talk about flattery. And yet, betrayed him to the point of sending him to die. But Jesus was vulnerable and open with people like Judas because he also had a John.

Read the Gospel of John. John is also always noted as the disciple whom Jesus loved. They had a really, really sweet friendship. But here’s what I know, just from practical experience and from the biblical text, you can’t have one without the other. You’ve been hurt by a Judas, I imagine. But the refreshment and the encouragement that comes from John?

You’re going to miss out on that if you try to avoid everybody. C. S. Lewis, for the win, he wrote in his book, Four Loves, he talks about just the honesty that we need to be vulnerable. He says, to love it all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give it to no one.

Not even an animal. They’ll break your heart too, you know what I’m saying? Nope. Okay. Rapid care. The puppy ate my pants this morning, guys, pray for me. Not these. These are the ones I don’t like. Anyways, wrap it carefully. Round with hobbies and little luxuries. Avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.

But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken. It will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable. You can’t skip being vulnerable, guys. To put it another way, we today are isolated, lonely, and afflicted because we are privately weak, wounded, and wicked.

Welcome to the human condition. To be a human is to be weak, it’s to be wounded, and it’s to be wicked. We’re gathering here because we’re admitting that. The problem is when you suffer those things in isolation and don’t tell people what you’re going through Look at Psalm 32 with me real quick The gospel is about stepping into the light.

Look, verse three, When I kept silent, right when I isolated myself, my bones became brittle. This is King David. Um, my bones became brittle from my groaning all day long for day and night. Your hand was heavy on me. My strength was drained as in the summer’s heat. Then I acknowledged my sin. I said, I will confess my transgression to the Lord, and you forgave the guilt of my sin.

If you keep reading, you start to see he was welcomed into joy and freedom and healing. And other passages like James will say, don’t just confess it to the Lord, but confess it to a friend. But when you do that, just know that friend might hurt you. So what is Paul’s greatest assurance? Why does he keep being vulnerable?

Now, look with me again in 2 Timothy 2. We’re going to read a lot of scriptures here that I believe exalt the name of Jesus Christ and I think can encourage you. Verse 8, it says, Come on, Paul. This is why I endure all things. For the elect so that they may also obtain salvation, which is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory.

Now hear this. This saying is trustworthy. For if we died with him, we will also live with him. If we endure, we will also reign with him. If we deny him, he will also deny us. And look, and if we are faithless, He remains faithful. I think that means a couple things. I think, of course, being faithless to God, and there’s times where you and I sin.

But I think it’s also a reminder, even when others are faithless, they’re not faithful to you. Just know, Jesus remains faithful. For he cannot deny himself, it’s in his character, to be loyal to his children. Look at verse, uh, 11 in chapter 3. He says, along with all the persecutions and sufferings that came to me in Antioch, Iconium, and Lystria.

Look. What persecutions I endured and what kind of persecutions suffering right punishment, but a lot of it was betrayal But he endured how the Lord rescued me from them all one more chapter 4 verse 17 this will just man if this doesn’t get you on fire your wood is wet. He says but the Lord Stood with me and strengthened me so that I might fully preach the word and all the Gentiles might hear it So I was rescued from the lion’s mouth The Lord will rescue me from every evil work and will bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom.

To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen. Again, I will ask, what is Paul’s greatest assurance? Why does he continue to be vulnerable with other people in order to make friends? He knows this truth. Jesus is the friend who will never leave you nor forsake you. You’re going to have great friends. You’re going to have bad friends.

You’re going to have friends churn on you. But. Jesus will never turn from you. Jesus is there. And he cares for us. and what’s interesting is this call. Jesus calls us to confess our weakness, our wounds, and our wickedness to him, but also to other people. But here’s what we can know. Other people can hurt us, but they will never sink us.

Ultimately, we will prevail because Jesus himself rescues us from the pit. And so this week we encourage you up at formedbyjesus. com slash together, go to the vulnerability practice. We’re going to be practicing vulnerability together this week. It’s going to be hard for many of us. I think for some of us this week, it’s just to acknowledge.

I have certain things that I am scared to share with others. Others of you, it’s going to be moments in your groups to confess your sin to one another. Especially if you have like hidden resentment towards someone in that group, that’s a wonderful time just to bring that forward and get. Forgiveness and redemption, but I really am praying that the Holy Spirit uses this practice to encourage us Because friends life can be so great and it could hurt so much but friends Life is worth living because of the friends we have around us, but that takes work It takes time, but the Spirit of God hasn’t given us a spirit of fear power love Self discipline,